Happy but Hard

I'm going to open up this post with some thoughts...

1. I am BEYOND thankful that the Mr. is able to keep our sweet boy.

2. I love my job, my co-workers, my students and being a teacher.

3. I am grateful for all that I have...beautiful home, cars, and my family.

4. I keep it real on this blog...yes, I share mostly good things, but occasionally I share things that aren't so happy. 

So with all of that being said...

(I truly LOVE the fact that his Daddy makes him laugh this hard!)

This evening was hard. 

The Mr. made a yummy dinner and we all three ate together. We played and laughed. We videoed Tuck going up all of the stairs and we kissed his bo-bos when he fell...

But why was it hard...because Tucker only wants the Mr. 

When he fell and bumped his head...he wanted the Mr. When we woke up from his nam he wanted him. He wanted him to feed him, change him, bathe him...you get it right?

Well it hurts so much. I want him to want me. But I am away from him for 10 hours a day. I want to be the one who stays at home with him and reads to him, plays with him, feeds him foods he's never had, felt new teeth growing, puts him down for naps, teaches him new things. Like I've said, I am SO blessed to have an amazing husband who takes such wonderful care of our son. He's so amazing with him. And he does everything with him with love. But I just never imagined it being like this. 

It's been like this for a couple of weeks...I know it's probably just an attachment thing, because the Mr. is home with him everyday and he's the one TJH sees the most. But it's so hurtful that I can't even hold him without him reaching for his Daddy. 

I know this may sound like I'm complaining but really this is coming from my heart. It's so hard to see TJH not want to come to me, or play with me or let me be the one who takes care of him. 

I know this will pass eventually...well, I hope it does. And I know it will be different in the summer when I'm home, but it doesn't change how it makes me feel now. 

I'm praying that I can settle with all of this better. I know the Lord is so faithful and this is part of His plan for us...but right now this part isn't super easy for me.